Success

I exhibited at another craft fair at the weekend and sold my first 2 paintings. I am so pleased because it means that my work is appreciated by people other than family and I had never actually sold one of my paintings before as they had always been given to family and friends.

This ‘success’ has given me a renewed motivation, not due to any financial motivation but through a sense of achievement and satisfaction. I achieved my aims and so this enabled me to feel good about myself. 

So what is ‘success’? Do we strive to achieve according to the rules and expectations of society or do we strive to achieve according to our own ideals? In other words, are we driven by a sense of personal control or are we controlled by an unseen driving force that we have to meet, in order to retain our stature in society?

Does it matter? Yes I think it does. 

If I look back on the true successes in my life, they are not the qualifications I gained or the advances I made in my employment, they are the personal achievements. Those achievements that helped to increase my confidence and self esteem. The successes that come from within, these are the ones that last a lifetime, that have a more dramatic effect on the psyche.

Sounds quite profound but break it down into the small parts and my successes have been those that have continued to have a positive cause and effect in my life.  Other people may or may not acknowledge my events as successful and quite right, because any success is only a success if it is relevant and beneficial to the individual. 

My own personal successes are those that include being a good role model, an ability to understand, completing tasks, sharing and relinquishing control to a higher power.  How do I measure my own personal success?  Success for me is when I see a smile on my own face or on the faces of others. 

Eureka!!

21 and counting

When I was 21, I remember an old man saying that he wished he was 21 again and knew what he knew now. It must have made some kind of impression on me because I remember that encounter well. Only now that I am older, do I fully realise what he meant and so I have compiled my list of 21 'would and would not's' so that I can truly say - 'if only I was 21 again and knew what I know now'.

1. I would value my own opinion
2. I would alter my priorities
3. I would only work to live not live to work
4. I would converse with more people
5. I would live and let live
6. I would appreciate 'me' as a unique person
7. I would think first, then act
8. I would be more assertive
9. I would be more patient
10. I would know that money doesn't grow on trees
11. I would know that true friends are a Godsend
12. I would not 'need' that sports car
13. I would know that after every sad time comes the smiley time
14. I would know that my first love was not the best
15. I would not try to please everyone
16. I would know there is a grand scheme of things
17. I wouldn't attach so much importance to things
18. I wouldn't be as self conscious but more confident
19. I wouldn't need to check my appearance for the umpteenth time
20. I wouldn't start to smoke 
21. I wouldn't live for weekends and holidays

 But hey, that is now me, umpteen years later and if I knew then what I know now, what would there have been to learn!!

What would your 21 pearls of wisdom be?

Rant of the week

 

I don’t rant often. Usually I am slow to anger and I get annoyed by injustices but this time it is due to incompetence, or to be precise, incompetence by the Post Office. Against my better judgement, I used the Check and Send service offered by the P.O. for a first time passport application for my son. This service is described as stress free, speedy and ensures the application is completed correctly. How wrong can you be?

The application was returned a week later as a whole section had not been completed. OK, I admit I had read the note on this section which said it was to be completed if the child was less than 16 years old so I skipped that part. Now, on further reading, it also said it was to be completed if it was a new passport application. So I skipped it because I thought it was for a child, however, the cashier who was checking the application surely should have noticed this important fact as she was told that it was a new passport application. She checked the form on two separate occasions, was offering a service to ensure it was correct, and then missed it completely!!

To make matters worse, I telephoned the passport department who informed me that the P.O. often get it wrong and it was an expensive service and that I would have been better advised if I had spoken to their office instead for free. GRRRRR!!! I now have to complete the application again and hopefully it will be returned in time for our holiday.

Of course I complained to the P.O. who readily offered a refund and an apology but that is quite flippant and does not address their professional incompetence and misleading advert. If a company advertises a service, it should do what it says on the tin. My rant is about the frequency of failure of this service and of being misled by advertising from a reputable company which resulted in a stressed, time consuming, double hassle, application.

It’s good to rant, it gets rid of the stress that you were promised you wouldn’t have! I will keep you ‘posted’ of any new developments

Intervention or coincidence?

I was displaying some of my oil paintings recently and my friend and I were sat behind the display so we were looking at the back of the canvases. She pointed to one of the angel paintings and asked if I had deliberately painted men on the back. As we looked closer, it was obvious that on the back of the canvas, as the light shone through, there appears to be two men on the angel wings! The one on the right looks like a man in a suit and the one on the left wing looks like a man in a hood. Now there is no way I have done this deliberately as it out of my skill zone. So is this angelic inspiration or mere coincidence? Too many times 'Godincidences' happen in my life.

Below you will see the front of the canvas that displays a male angel and the view from behind this painting which shows the two men. Let the viewer decide!

arts and crafts

The results of my creative energies were put on show at a craft fayre at which I had a stall, over the weekend. Not a very successful day though as I think it was the wrong fayre to use. However, not deterred, onwards and upwards as they say. I have now made a variety of skirts, bags, phone socks, specs cases and a host of other accessories, not to mention having fun oil painting on canvas.

 I have an email for anyone who wishes to gain further information at essellcreations@live.co.uk. I will happily send photos and information.

To me, art and crafts are a satisfying hobby as I create things, most of which, up to now, I have given as gifts to friends and family. I have, however, branched out onto ebay, so watch this space for further news

Friendships

Friends come and go throughout life and some friends remain. Since finishing work I now have a selective group of friends with whom I keep in touch. The phrase ’you choose your friends but are stuck with your family’ caused me to think about the friends that I choose. All have different qualities but each one has similar views and opinions to me so there is a personality connection. I feel equality between us and a respect of each other. So I am comfortable around the friends that I choose and can relax and enjoy their company.

So why is it that friends come and go throughout life? Is it based on circumstance or personal need at the time? I have had friends who have moved far away and have inadvertently lost touch and I have had friends where we have drifted apart perhaps because opinions or needs have altered. I do believe that people enter life for a particular reason and when that reason no longer applies, another friend replaces the last. My ‘life’ friends have provided me with various lessons whether that is as a role model, for support, guidance or love.  Some of these are still in my life and some not. 

Basic needs for any person are to feel loved, secure and accepted and friends provide these needs, but not all friends appear according to the rules of the cosmos, they are should also be sought and encouraged by the individual. Friendship is a two way process and so involves giving as well as receiving, so if this world is not too keen to give rather than receive, remember that a true friend is a ‘giving’ friend

Need a Label?

I was discussing last week with my daughter, the value or necessity of  attaching labels to people and it made me consider the ‘labels’ that I’ve either put on myself or have been given throughout my life. Apart from the descriptive tags of mother, sister, etc, these labels can cause a certain behaviour which is expected.

Shakespeare’s in his play ‘As you like it’ wrote-

‘All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players’

If I therefore have a label to conform to, am I in control or acting a role for the benefit of others?

 I don’t necessarily object to labels because they can give defined rules, responsibilities and expectations as my nursing career was governed by the rules of the NMC and my education role held specific responsibilities and expectations.

My point is, do labels help or hinder? Do we use them too liberally; are they restrictive, controlling, cause us to conform? Or does a label describe a stereotype that we can dismiss so easily?

When I first retired I realised that many of my life long labels no longer applied which was quite liberating but also made me think how I had probably  been defined by these labels and now that they did not apply, then ‘who am I now?’  This identity crisis only lasted a couple of hours because I’ve picked up more replacement labels!! I am now an artist, a dressmaker, and best of all- a retiree!

So now, if I therefore have a label to conform to, am I in control or acting a role for the benefit of others? I think that I now have the control because I can now decide whether to play on this world stage or just be a spectator – but that’s another label isn’t it?