Communicating with the family

Had a wonderful weekend with my family and friends. One full day BBQ for my daughter’s  40^th birthday and a bank holiday ‘girls’ shopping expedition. It is so wonderful to be in the company of my family as the family is the one place you can be yourself and feel loved and supported unconditionally.

All through my long career as a Health Visitor, I was privileged to be invited into the homes of a variety of families and extended families and I value the importance of a good family. I have supported and advised families on a myriad of subjects and have been a small part in their successes and shared in their sad experiences.  In all of these situations I am reminded of the importance of communication as a lack of communication is often the cause and effect of breakdowns and negative experiences.

A child in one of these families was demonstrating problems with her behavior and I had asked the mother to keep a diary so that we could identify problems and techniques. As an alternative to a written diary, the mother had used a cassette to record events but one day had inadvertently left it recording. When she played back the recording she realised how often this child had been speaking to her or had tried to gain her attention and the mother had not heard her. This had not been done deliberately, but the mother was amazed how often the child had unintentionally been ignored. Needless to say, the situation was reversed, and as the communication improved, her behavior also improved.

 How we interpret the meaning of the spoken word can cause misunderstandings and further hurt if further communication is not used in order to clarify or voice hurts. One of my daughters recently attempted to reassure me about a situation in her life but I had interpreted her justification quite differently and it had not reassured me but had the opposite effect of reinforcing my original concerns. Thankfully this was sorted out a few weeks later as it had started to form a barrier between us.

So in my written communication, I celebrate the true meaning of family, with all its positive and negative aspects, its support, its blessings and most of all, its continuing unconditional love. We don’t choose our family but I am so happy and privileged to have the one I have now.